If I had to, I would consider my self highly introspective. I’ve pretty much always kept in touch with what was going on with me. I tend to be extremely hard on myself and sometimes err to the side of extreme perfectionism with a hint of hysteria. That being said, I’ve been really trying to understand the underlying reasons behind many things I do or don’t do. Up until my Dad died in 2003, I was pretty chill, and laid-back. His death caused a huge paradigm shift of sorts and I’ve been working my way out of a hole of dispair ever since. For some reason, triumphs just weren’t as sweet and even defeat lost some of its sting. I was just numb. Awakening from the numbing effects of the death of a loved-one can be really painful. It’s kind of like having an epidural before childbirth. While everything is going on, you’re numb. You know somthing is happening, but you have not awakened to the feelings of it yet. You sit there feeling your way through only to discover hours later what you knew… THAT HURT IT LIKE HELL!!! That’s kind of how I would describe my experience since Daddy died. No that’s ABSOLUTELY how I would describe losing my Dad. It’s amazing how much one person can represent in your life. There is hardly a day that goes by that I don’t think about him, or quote him, or borrow some of his mannerisms. A lot of my raw feelings came back after Isaac’s [Hayes] death. For some reason, everything came back to me. I’ve been trying to make sense out of everything and one thing I know for sure is: Change happens… You either adapt to it or perish. With swirling bad news about the economy and the state of the world at large, it would behove people to take inventory of their lives and find out what REALLY matters to them. I am making an earnest effort to do just that. With that being said, I’ve made a short list things that were priceless to me just this morning.

1. Giving affection to my dogs
2. Cooking breakfast for my family
3. Having some quiet reflective time
4. Saying good morning to my husband and getting a warm hug.
5. Talking to my mama
6. Taking Quinton (my cousin) to school and wishing him a “great day”

As long as I live, I want to keep my life in perspective and never forget the “little” blessings that I get for free.

Tags: Self-improvement projects