I’ve created a new category to record the lessons that I’ve learned from my dad. He made such an impact on people. I doubt that his impact was greater in public than it was in private. I think when a man’s family loves and respects him, it speaks volumes about him. If your wife and children hate you, then I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I can speak for my mom, my sister and and myself by saying that daddy was probably one the greatest people we’ve ever met… like, For REAL! He lived everyday with passion and determination. He Showed us how to think for ourselves. He showed us how to pray. He showed us how to laugh. He showed us not to take ourselves or life too seriously. He showed us how to be bold and how to be humble. He showed us not to look down on people. Notice, I didn’t say he TOLD us… He SHOWED us. He showed us how to respect authority and how not to sweat it when we were surrounded by haters. He showed us not to be afraid to be used by God and to use our gifts and talents. He showed us how to speak to people and not act like they were invisible. He made us say good morning to everybody in the house when we woke up. He taught us not to be so “AVAIL-I-ABLE when these negroes call you”. He showed us how to be kind to animals. He showed us how to look people in their eyes and be confident. He taught me to “sit down and shut up in that classroom and do that work…any FOOL can be quiet!” He taught me say yes ma’am and yes sir. Not because I was inferior, but because I should show respect. Of course people always say great things about people when they die. The funny thing is, we thought and said the same thing about him when he was alive!!! I joke that everything cool about myself came from him. Since everyone didn’t have the pleasure of knowing him, REALLY knowing him, I’ll share the things that he taught me from time to time.
I can remember him lecturing a room full of men when I was a pre-teen and saying to them,
“You can live forever!! I bet you didn’t know that did you? Brothers you can live forever! Don’t look at me so sanctified… you probably thinking, ‘that preacher is gone crazy!’, but I submit to you that you can live forever, through your children. the life you lead will live on through those whom you’ve imparted to. When I’m dead and gone, my life will live through my Lisa and Paula (amen somebody). I challenge you to be the type of father your children can honor..”
At the time, I didn’t really understand what he meant. I really didn’t care what he meant. I just wanted this to be over so I could go to the corner store and get me some chips and a drink… I totally get it now, though. In a community full of families with absent fathers, and fathers who children wish were absent, it’s good to know there are still men who are on the frontlines for their families. Men whose families are actually GLAD they are there. You may not have biological children, but there is someone watching you and looking to you to show them something real… I’m grateful for the wisdom that my father imparted to me on a DAILY basis. It’s given me the courage to go on even after he’s gone. I’m not saying he was perfect, but he was always man enough to let us know that he made mistakes. If there is any greatness in me, I have been blessed with a shining example of greatness right in my home.
